All dogs go to heaven.

"a ha! that's why that happened!" ~ "see! it all worked out for the better!"
It's moments like these, when the mind wakes up to a beautiful epiphany, life illuminates into a million smiles of content.

As humans, we get caught on a merry-go-round of impulse. Around and around, reality and logic become a blur spinning by. And as our impulse dizzies our mind, pessimism showers our soul.
Crying out in desperation, we declare victim in the brutal workings of the world. "Why me?" "What did I do to deserve this!" "This isn't the way it's suppose to be!" "This is my bad karma." "Nothing good will ever come of this." and the most daunting of all impulse beliefs: "My life is ruined."

As I sit here reflecting on those infinite moments in our lives, I'm supremely okay with this vicious cycle of lost faith. There's a reason our struggles aren't rewarded until our muscles are strong. As our pillows dampen, our foreheads wrinkle, and our thoughts grow bitter, we can't deny a strength growing inside us. There's a reason it became so cliché to preach "if it doesn't kill you, it only makes you stronger." ...and it does. From our strength also comes a blindfold on our path of purpose. How often do we smirk off those moments where things fall into place? We laugh because we realize how entangled we felt, trapped in an oblivion of heartache, upset, anger. And just when we've put all the tornment aside, fate comes rushing at us, smacking us with a big ole kiss of destiny - "THAT happened, in order for THIS to happen."

Purpose is a funny concept. I'm reminded of the old wise tale of insurance - if you got it, you don't need it. When you're looking for purpose, all you find is a porcelain god praising nautiousness aside the merry-go-round. It isn't until you're riding the ferris wheel you find yourself sitting next to a blonde haired blue eyed girl, sharing your uncertainties of life, and your hidden dreams of heaven. I've found myself another passenger to sit next to me on this ride of life. Kirstin is one less empty seat beside me, and one more smile in my backpocket of friends.

I may never forgive the workings of my past, and I encourage her not to either. For, forgiveness implies regret, and regret is the torment of my soul. Letting the past be what it was, I finally open my eyes to it's butterfly effect on my existence. It happened, it hurt, and the big-picture-purpose will be ever-exposing. As we finish our genuine conversation, after years of anger, I find my gratitude amidst a sigh of relief, and I log this shared moment as a long lesson learned: the most unexpected things always work out in the most unexpected ways.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Who rides with you?